“We Can Always Visit Anytime. We are Nearby”
But we don’t. How many times have we heard this and say to our relatives and friends? The reality is that we think that we can always talk, care and visit sometime in the future since we are so ‘close’.
When I was burning the midnight oil, my parents would always call me, asking me what time I would be back. I will always reply, ‘Soon, let me finish this work up’.
Then, I will get back to a house with just one light open. My mum will be asleep on the couch, while my dad is sleeping upstairs. He’s had a stroke so he’s half-paralyzed but is still able to walk.
I will wake my mum up, and she will smile and ask whether I have eaten. I said no, and she would take a plate of leftover food from the oven.
At 32 now, and working on my own business, I reflect on the times I had those thoughts when I was younger. The thing is I also see many of my peers have these thoughts. They can spend time with their family, relatives and friends later in life after they have made it.
The more I thought about it, the more afraid I became. Here’s why I think we should not take our family and friends for granted. It might be too late by then.
Time Passes the Same for Everyone, And We Are Getting Older
The passage of time is cruel. It’s ruthless, ever moving forward. It doesn’t stop for anything or anyone.
As I lay awake at night 3 in the morning, I couldn’t help but think about time. How it is both the same and different for everyone.
When I was in corporate, I didn’t think much about working overtime. To me, I am working towards achieving more things in my career. Hence, I need to put in more hours.
I was young, barely out of university. And I was ambitious, relentless in my pursuit of perfection.
Meanwhile, both my mum and dad are retired. They spend most of their time at physiotherapy centres (because my dad needs them) and at home.
They are old. I remember as I was talking to my dad, he said he was proud of being able to provide but regretted not being able to spend time with us and his family (before he got the stroke).
He used to reason to himself that later when he retired, he would get to spend all the time with his family.
As I sat with my thoughts, I realized that I haven’t really spent much time with my parents, family and relatives that much throughout my life.
Every overtime is time lost. And my parents have always been there at home waiting. They know that we are working hard on our careers.
I thought to myself, am I going to make them wait? Am I going to reason to myself that I can spend time with them later in my life?
As they near the end of their lives, am I going to have the same reasoning?
If I or My Family Were to Die Tomorrow, What Will I Do?
There was a famous philosopher who asked, if you were to die tomorrow, what would you do?
I will not be doing overtime or working. I will quit work, and I will spend them with my loved ones.
I will do everything that they or I want to do.
And as I go through these thoughts. Why not now? Why not think of tomorrow as possibly the last day I or my family will be here?
Even though it’s technically not true.
But it clears the mind of any doubts.
It paves the way forward. And it is I who have to stop making excuses about ‘doing it later because I have time and I am close by’.
The truth is we all have limited time in this world.
And if diseases or accidents don’t kill us, regrets will.
Make Your Choices Now, Don’t Wait
I didn’t want to wait till later in life. We could all die tomorrow. And my parents aren’t young anymore.
I reconfigured my working life. I quit my job to pursue my own writing business and commit more to a family-centric life. My wife earns a decent amount so I am blessed.
Furthermore, I have one on the way. And I don’t want to miss out on his or her early life.
I fear that I will regret it if I make my move later on in life. Procrastinating is a powerful force stopping us from making the best decisions for our lives.
You can choose to pursue a life, chasing material wealth and climbing the ladder or you can choose to have the most important things in life now.
The choice is yours, but just be wary about the consequences of it. For me, I know a successful career as a top economist in a bank or research house is out of reach now. But that’s not what I want in life.
