A Quiet Moment In Bed in the Afternoon

Ho Su Wei
3 min readMay 24, 2024

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I had an epiphany in bed with my wife at 3 pm. Never have I felt so at peace. And I felt like I was the luckiest person in the world. I would describe it as a spiritual experience or being closer to God. Random event. I know. But I found myself taking a nap in the middle of the day after lunch. I had previously gone to play badminton from 9 am to 11 am. I woke up early at 6 am, did my work, and had breakfast at 8 am. “Bro, why are you telling us your schedule?”

Shhhh, it’s my article! Well, if you must ask, I am now in Miri, Sarawak — my wife’s hometown. She’s remote. I am remote. She’s making more money. I am not (please send help). The life here is different. Different in a good way.

You see, I grew up in a city called Kuala Lumpur. For folks in Malaysia, it’s pronounced KEHH L. If you have lived in a city, you know the race. The race to the top of the food chain — or the bottom of your mental health — sometimes both. I have struggled with my mental health in a big city. Just 6 years ago, I had recurring episodes of panic attacks. Days and nights of working overtime, chasing wealth, achievement and prestige.

And I was working in my dream job, in my dream company. Living the dream was what I started with and living a nightmare was what I ended with my time there. No fault of the company. And no fault of my own. To me, living a city life, chasing things endlessly, crying myself into the night, and worrying about everything that did and could go wrong, was what did me in.

I never knew much peace in my life when I was working in KEHH L. But I certainly knew suffering. The pain of being worried all the time that something bad was going to happen. It nips at you at the back and edges of your mind. And when it nibbles enough, it starts to consume you from the inside. By then, all hell has broken loose in your mind that your body shuts down to rescue itself.

It is this context that I find it peaceful that I am having a quiet moment in bed in the middle of the afternoon. I am not rushing for anything nor am I stressing about many things. I am just watching the fan dangling from the ceiling spin. My wife is sound asleep beside me. My phone is not buzzing with work notifications. It’s empty. It’s not that I don’t work but I have learned to separate work from my personal life.

I have also learned that letting go does wonders. Many times, I fret about the results of my efforts. But through many rounds of talking to myself, I have been increasingly able to detach myself from results. Make no mistake, they are important. But, most of the results that we get from our efforts are not really up to us. I have learned to put in my best effort and let God decide on the outcome and results.

When I was able to do this a couple of times, I really felt a sense of peace as I finished up on my tasks. Letting go of results allowed me to rest peacefully in the middle of the afternoon. A feat unheard of if it was me a couple of years back. I would probably be stressing constantly.

As I touch my wife’s hair and look at her sleeping face, nothing else really matters. Sure, there are deadlines looking. Sure, there are many people giving criticisms about my work. Sure, there are worries whether I can be profitable with my writing career. There are many things that will keep me up at night.

But just for this one moment, I was awake and at peace in bed.

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Ho Su Wei

Founder of Slice of P.I.E and hopes to provide simple investment, economics and personal development insights to ordinary people.